You Bully Me, I Bully You

Bully noun

1 a person who teases, threatens, or hurts smaller or weaker persons

As I googled the meaning of the word, I recalled reading in the news how some celebrities share their stories of being bullied sometime in their childhood and in that way reaching out to the smaller people ("us") and make the world a better place.

It's great that they open up to the public and show us that they were once regular individuals, capable of being hurt and belittled (or until now since they are almost always the topics of tabloids, blind items and targets of paparazzis).

I, for one, was bullied during childhood but I'm embarrassed to admit that I became a bully too.  It was a "Revenge of the Nerds" kind of thing.  

My grader years were a struggle.  I was an outcast in class and I was teased, threatened and hurt not physically, but emotionally that there was a time that I didn't want to go to school.  Until now, I still don't have a peace of mind because I didn't understand why it happened to me.

Then came high school. It was a fresh start 'cause I moved to another province with my dad and mom.  I was happy that I'll be leaving my demons behind.  Little did I know that a little demon somehow creeped inside my luggage and tagged along the trip.

But the little demon didn't destroy me. It influenced me.  I became a bully in high school but I was not the brutal kind.  I teased, threatened, belittled some people because I felt high and mighty.  I guess it goes with being "popular" in school.

Looking back,  I feel sorry for myself for sinking into the level of my bullies.  And I am ashamed for doing so.  But even though I experienced both, I still didn't understand the bully system and I never will.

Only time heals all wounds... But what about the scar tissues? They will always be a reminder and it's up to you on how you would handle them.

As for me, I will always think about it.  I will always ask why and I will always be ashamed of myself. But then I will still move on. And hopefully, just like the celebrities, I will be a better person.